How to create more meaningful friendships with your girlfriends 🤷‍♀️

Tamara, I have a topic for your newsletter: How to create more meaningful friendships with your girlfriends. 🤷‍♀️

Not to answer a question with a question, but who would you invite for a dinner party tonight? 🤔

I moved to our town 11 years ago, and I noticed that my friendships have gone in waves. 🌊There are 2 types: the ones I have kept over time and those I have during a "season," like school moms, sports moms, co-workers, and neighbors - the ones you're around because of what you're doing.

And you can count on one hand the ones you'd call when you need anything. AND THAT'S FINE. But I'm always trying to make new ones. I met someone on IG who lives near me. We decided to meet IRL at a coffee shop. Afterward, I keep up the conversation via DM. And just today, I was driving through her town and thought, why don't I stop by to see if she's around? 🚗 And she was! And we had a great chat! It was only 5 min, but that's all we needed. It's nurturing the relationship. It's making an effort. It's showing her, hey, I'm actually interested in being real friends.

Ok, so here are some tips to help you foster deeper connections with your girlfriends: 👯‍♀️

1. BE WHO YOU ARE: Your vibe will attract your tribe. BE YOU, BOO! Plenty of gf out there want to hang with you as YOU. So don't pretend to be someone else. That won't get you anywhere, and you'll feel fake. Show up as your true self and encourage your friends to do the same! Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly and honestly. IF you feel awkward sharing with them or they make you feel weird about it, they aren’t your friend. KEEP GOING. Authenticity helps build trust and creates a foundation for deeper connections (esp when you ugly cry in front of them). 😭

2. Practice active listening: REALLY LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS. Show genuine interest in what your friends say. Be present in the conversation, ask thoughtful questions, and validate their feelings. MAKE THEM FEEL SEEN. Practice active listening by giving them your full attention and avoiding distractions. PUT THE PHONE DOWN, KAREN. (sorry, Karen!) 🙋🏼‍♀️

3. Foster mutual support: BE THERE FOR HER in GOOD times & CRAP moments. Celebrate her successes, offer a shoulder to lean on, and provide a safe space for them to share their joys and struggles. Support and encouragement build stronger bonds. My friend brought me flowers from the supermarket the other day on her way home. 🌻FOR NO REASON other than to say I’m proud of you for going after it. That’s the kind of stuff that means so much. 🤗

4. Create shared experiences: DO STUFF TOGETHER. Plan activities or outings that allow you to bond and create lasting memories together. This could be anything from trying new hobbies, going on adventures, attending events, or simply spending quality time together. Shared experiences strengthen the connection between friends. Don't just go out to dinner (unless you're in a dinner club 🍽) but try new things together and encourage each other to build confidence! That’s like next-level friendship right there. 🙌

5. Practice empathy and compassion: Show UNDERSTANDING & EMPATHY towards your friends' feelings and experiences. Be compassionate and non-judgmental, and offer a listening ear when they need to vent or seek advice. Empathy helps deepen emotional connections. Don't just say you'll be fine. Be the person they can vent to. You don’t always need to offer your thoughts. Just listen.❤️

6. Be reliable and dependable: Show up for your friends when needed. Be reliable, keep your commitments, and be trustworthy. Being there for each other builds trust and a sense of security within the friendship. DON'T FLAKE & TEXT THEM BACK. 📲 And this goes without saying, but if they gossip to you behind someone else’s back, they are gossiping about you behind yours. There is NO tolerance for this crap. I just stop talking to them and find someone I respect to spend my time with.

7. Communicate openly and respectfully: Establish open lines of communication with your friends. Express your needs, boundaries, and concerns HONESTLY while listening to their perspectives. Resolve conflicts or misunderstandings respectfully and compassionately. Real gf's will respect you and want this from you, just as you'd want it from them. 🗣️💕

8. Celebrate individuality and personal growth: Support your friends' individuality and personal growth journeys. Encourage them to pursue their passions, dreams, and personal goals. Celebrate their achievements and provide encouragement during their self-discovery and growth processes. 🎉My gf's sometimes buy my stuff; honestly, it doesn't bother me if they don't. But when they do?! OMGGGG!! Even if they just say, HEY, YOU'RE DOING GREAT! You KNOW how much it can affect you, so make sure you're cheering nice and loud! 📣

9. Practice reciprocity: Friendship is a two-way street. 🔁 Be PROACTIVE in reaching out, initiating plans, and showing that you value friendship. Put effort into maintaining the relationship and reciprocate the support and care you receive from your friends. Ask them to go out and say YES when they ask you to go out! The more you two hang out, the more your friendship will grow. 💞

10. Give space and respect boundaries: Respect each other's boundaries and individual needs for personal space and alone time. Recognize that everyone has their own lives, responsibilities, and priorities. Allow for flexibility and understanding in the dynamics of the friendship. And don't get jealous if they are hanging out with others. YOU hang out with others too! It's healthy to have separate lives! Plus, you'll have more to catch up on next time you see each other! Healthy boundaries = happier friends! 💗

Remember, building meaningful friendships takes time and effort from both sides. Nurture the connections, invest in the relationship, and cherish the moments you share with your girlfriends. 🥰

Also, consider the flip side, and if you're doing all these things, but your friend isn't reciprocating, or they are walking all over you. First of all, tell them. Real gf's want to talk about it with you and improve things. If you've been trying and it's not working, then girl, WALK AWAY. 🙅🏻‍♀️I've had to do this before, and your mental health should end the friendship if it's hurting you more than helping. Stay strong and do what you need to do to move on. Trust your intuition and prioritize your well-being. Find a healthy gf that makes being friends FUN!!

Love you. Gotta go. Byeeeeee friend!!! 😘

Now go and invite your gf’s for that dinner and let me know which tip you put into action!

xoxoo